No questions are stupid...right?

Ok, so now I am reading Chapter 21 of 1 Nephi. Who is speaking here? Is this Nephi quoting scripture from Isaiah? I realize that I should know, but I feel confused and I am not sure that I can move on until I understand who is speaking. In verse 2 it says, "And he that made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of his hand hath he hid me, and made me a polished shaft; in his quiver hath he hid me;" So who is this speaking? Who's mouth was made like a sharp sword? Please tell me.

compare Isaiah 48

So I know it is just me feeling intimidated because everyone talks about Isaiah like it is so important and difficult. I totally bought into and now I guess I get to undo it. So Chapter 20 in 1 Nephi compares ti Isaiah 48. I haven't read that yet, but I will probably do that tomorrow. There are 2 verses that stood out to me. verse 10, "For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." I think this one stuck out to me because I feel like this is a lesson that I understand...hopefully. I know that when we are going through trials and affliction it is for our own good. I believe in that greatly. I don't always love it, but I realize that as a truth. I like how the scripture says it is how we are getting refined, well whoever the Lord was speaking to at the time, but it applies to us as well. We do get refined by our trials because they force us to search for peace, they inspire me to be better, and most importantly they humble us so that we can turn to the Lord and remember Him and all His love. The more we can have those opportunities the more refined we will become. So, unfortunately trials and affliction are a good thing. It is also a good example to how we can help our children build character. We need to let them suffer through trials as well so that they can grow and learn and become refined. If I can do a good job building a relationship with my children then they will remember my love and be humbled and come to me for help. I hope I can do that. I know many times that I have remembered the love of my parents and humbled myself to go to them during my time of need. I am so thankful that they have always loved me and taught me that I need to ask them for help when I need it. They always made sure I knew that they are there for me.

The last verse in this chapter says, "And notwithstanding he hath done all this, and greater also, there is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked." So don't be wicked...you won't have any peace. Nothing fancy, just a really good reminder...wicked=no peace. Who would want that?

Getting Nervous

So I am getting nervous. I am getting nervous because we are getting closer to the Isaiah chapters. There will be a few in 1 Nephi AND THEN MORE MORE MORE in 2 Nephi. I know some people LOVE these chapters, but they intimidate me. My mind doesn't quite work in the way they are written, but I have HIGH HOPES that this time around I will be patient and that everyone else will help me. But enough of my fears, more on 1 Nephi chapter 19.

Verse 17 says, yea, and all the earth shall see the salvation of the Lord, saith the prophet; every nation, kindred, tongue and people shall be blessed." Here Nephi is writing of the more sacred things and is making a record of what he knows of the Lord. After he has told of how the world will judge the Savior and scourge him and smite him and spit upon him he talks of how the earth shall see the salvation of the Lord. I skipped a lot in the middle there, but this scripture I love and it stood out to me. Nephi mentions this that he has learned from another prophet, Zenos. I love it when Nephi speaks of other prophets because again, it shows how the Lord works. How the Lord teaches us through our prophets. That hasn't changed, it is still the same and I love that He still blesses us with a living prophet to guide us. I think anytime I read about the Savior and his salvation being shown I feel joy inside. There is so much love that can be felt in learning of His love and the salvation that is there for us to take. After this verse Nephi says, "And I, Nephi, have written these things unto my people that perhaps I might persuade them that they would remember the Lord their Redeemer." (v.18) I love this as well. When I read the scriptures I sometimes can just feel the love from these prophets of old. They wrote these records with so much love and energy for their posterity, for us. The whole purpose of him writing all this is to persuade us to remember the Lord, our Redeemer. How many times do we ourselves say things to persuade others towards something we feel is important? I know my parents have said much to me my whole life to help me live a good life because they knew what would give me real happiness. I didn't ALWAYS listen, but I am glad I usually did. I feel that anxiousness that I think Nephi feels with my own children. I wonder if they will know what I feel and how important the knowledge that we are children of God and that our Savior lives and that through faith and obedience we will have joy and be redeemed is. Was that a run on sentence? Anyways, I think Nephi feels that same anxiousness and writes and speaks to us with so much energy because he wants to make sure we see the importance of what is in the scriptures. He is constantly bearing his testimony to us of our Savior. That is another learning lesson that I want to incorporate into my life. I want to constantly be bearing my testimony to my children and by the way I interact and live I hope that I will be bearing my testimony to others as well. I don't mean I want to be weird and crazy where I am scaring my family or weirding them out, I just mean that I want to do it more when the Spirit guides me. I just wanted to make that clear, not in a weird crazy way, a good led by the Spirit way.

Verse 23, "And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all the scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning." Again Nephi reads from other records to persuade his brethren to believe in the Lord. I love that. I love the end where he says he "...did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning." I feel like that is kind of the only way I know how to study the scriptures is by mostly thinking about how it applies to my own life. I am not so great at the more scholarly type of learning, although maybe one day I will get there. I do love to apply the scriptures to me because it makes them make sense to me. It helps me to see why we have them and why they are so important. When I liken the scriptures to my life well I always finish feeling inspired and motivated to act on my faith more diligently.

Plates of Ore

I have moved on to 1 Nephi 19. This chapter begins by talking about Nephi being commanded to make plates of ore to record the ministry and prophecies, the more plain and precious parts of them. Hopefully I read that correctly. But what I was thinking about was the time and effort of what he was commanded to do. I am simple minded so when I read the scriptures and read about Nephi making these plates I somehow just think of it like pulling out a piece of paper and writing. But I am not dumb, I know that it took a lot more work and effort to do so. Once again, makes me feel tired just thinking of what he may have had to do to make the plates and then on top of that I am sure the word "engrave" doesn't mean writing with a pencil, so that was probably a lot of labor as well. I don't write in my journal as often as I would like to and it is because I just put it off and then the day is over, but for me I have such luxuries like pen and paper or even the computer and it isn't hard to keep a journal. I am just always impressed with Nephi's obedience and diligence. I know those attributes are what bring us the greatest joy in our lives because we know inside ourselves we are doing with is correct. I just want to stop and say that I love Nephi. I love him because he is a true man of God. He is just a man, a man who wants to live a righteous life and has a true love for those around him. He has a deeper understanding of the what the Lord wants and I think the Plan of Salvation. He is courageous and strong and unwavering in his faith. I would love to be a great as this and hope that I will get there.

In verse 7 Nephi says, "for the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say , trample under their feet but I would speak in other words--they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels." When I read scriptures like this I think of the men that do not hearken to the the voice of the Lord of like the big time sinners. I think of men that contend with the prophets and are vocal about it and work hard to sway believers away. But the more I have been studying I wonder if this is something I should be more cautious of. When our Prophet gives us counsel am I 100 percent obedient...that is almost impossible for me, so am I what Nephi is talking about? Maybe slightly, I know I have a great desire to be good and to be obedient so I don't think I fall under this category, but I do think that I am weak in some areas and don't take as much care to them. I am not always consistent serving others and I think that is important counsel for our lives and happiness and in becoming more like Christ. I know I need to esteem it as great worth and I hope that me not being as good at it doesn't throw me into this category I don't want to be in. But I guess I can relate it to the weaker areas that I have and recognize that I can change it and hearken to the counsel of the Lord better. I know that maybe I sound hard with recognizing where I go wrong. I know my desires are righteous, I think I am just really searching for improvement. I know I have weaknesses, I don't like them and want to make them strengths. So as I am studying I think this is just how I tend to look at what I am reading. I hope my posts don't seem negative, but positive for the good things we can change to be.

very short comment today

so the last verse of chapter 18 it says, "and it came to pass that we did find upon the land of promise, as we journeyed in the wilderness, that there were beasts in the forests of every kind, both the cow and the ox, and the ass and the horse, and the goat and the wild goat, and all for the use of men..." I know that whatever is written in the scriptures has a purpose and is of great importance. I have always been curious about when they mention specific animals and why that is important. I am still wondering. Can anyone enlighten me? That is what I want to learn about this week.

typos

I was reading back on some of my entries. I am sorry for all my typos. I totally don't proof read...OBVIOUSLY. I try hard to make the time to write, my goal is to write daily but that has proven to be a little difficult, but I am still trying for that. To proof read might be too much for me, so eventhough I am sorry for how bad it reads you will have to just be ok with it.

1 Nephi 18 begins with Nephi's brothers being good and helping him. They had been humbled. When the ship was finished they saw that it was really good and humbled themselves again. Isn't it crazy what a rollercoaster their lives are. In verse 9 it says, "...after we had been driven forth before the wind for the space of many days, behold, my brethren and the sons of Ishmael and also their wives began to make themselves merry, insomuch that they began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness, yea, even that they did forget by what power they had been brought thither, yea, they were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness." I was thinking about this. I can imagine that after the ship was done and they were on the sea they probably started to relax a little. They let loose and started to fall into old habits. I have been there. I think it is interesting that Nephi mentions their rudeness. I remember in high school how fun or funny it seemed to be to be rude. I am a totally sarcastic person and knowing my limits with that has been a difficult lesson. I like reading this and seeing that allowing ourselves to be lifted up in rudeness is a sign for us, that we are starting to move in the wrong direction. I think that it is hard to see when we are slowing moving off the path and that it is important to take note of some signs...like rudeness or idleness. These are things we can check ourselves against to make sure we are staying on the right path.

So moving on...Nephi of course gets bound with cords and gets to endure even more abuse from his brothers who have forgotten about what has humbled them. So the Lord shows his strength again by almost swallowing them up in the sea, when they were scared for their lives they released Nephi. Nephi is SO GOOD! His reaction is to praise the Lord and not murmur. I think mine would have been to do something harmful and say some things to Laman and Lemuel!

I was thinking about them sailing in the sea. I bet that was a scary thing. I would not love to sail across the ocean first of all. I would not want to do it in a boat I built. I would not want to go with a bunch of people who don't know where they are going! Their faith is amazing that they did this knowing that the Lord would take them and guide them as long as they were faithful. I wonder how Laman and Lemuel were not afraid to do wrong...I mean obviously their testimony wasn't where it should have been, but still...I would have been more careful while I was in the ocean. I wonder how long it took them to sail. Is this something I should know? I wonder if I would doubt that we would get to where we were supposed to go. I wonder if I doubt that I will get to where I should be...if I do I better stop. I know that I have instruction and guidance, but it isn't always obvious to me.

Patterns of the Lord

I really get excited when I start to recognize patterns that the Lord has for us. It helps strengthen my testimony to know that He has a plan, He uses it with His children and also lets us learn and see from those before us. The later part of 1 Nephi 17 Nephi is confounding his brothers for all their grossness...ok that was my own word, but it is how I describe people or myself when we are being ungrateful or complaining or whining. Nephi uses examples from the Bible to teach his brothers and to show them the patterns of the Lord. Beginning in verse 23 he starts to ask questions of Moses as a teaching tool. The hard part is when he compares Laman and Lemuel to the children of Israel when they hardened their hearts. He also says to them in verse 45, "Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words; wherefore, he has spoken unto you like unto the voice of thunder, which did cause the earth to shake as if it were to divide asunder." This scripture always kind of gets to the center of my soul when I read it. In some ways I feel nervous and start to think back in my life to what I know and what miracles I have seen or when the Spirit has spoken to me and then I think about where I am swift in iniquity and slow remembering the Lord. I have this problem where I am sometimes fast to really remember the Lord when I need a lot of help. For example, while we waited forever and forever for Elias' job to come I prayed for it...but I wasn't necessarily the best at making sure I read my scriptures daily or other things I needed to be doing in my life because my desire was in the right place. As the time got longer and longer I started praying harder and doing the right things more because of my need. I know that is not the right way to do things, but it is what it is. Those experiencing make me feel a little bad that my natural desire wasn't there first and I wasn't naturally motivated to the right things because I remembered the Lord and because I was humble enough.

After Nephi speaks he tells them not to touch him or they will whither like a dried up reed. He was so filled with the Spirit. In verse 53 the Lord tells him to stretch forth his hand and he will shock the brothers so ..."that they may know that I am the Lord their God." So Nephi does and they were shocked. I thought this was interesting because they already were not touching Nephi. I asked myself why the Lord thought to show them yet ANOTHER very obvious sign that he is the Lord. I wonder if it wasn't just for Laman and Lemuel. They have had so much proof already that to continue to give it to them seems worthless. I wonder if it was also for Nephi. Nephi wasn't asking for signs and his faith was unbelievable, but maybe the Lord was giving him this little bit of goodness to strengthen him even more and as a blessing for him not questioning. I think Heavenly Father does this sometimes, does things for another or to another, but really as a blessing for someone that isn't as obvious. Was that totally confusing? I can't think of any particular experiences of my own, but I bet if I think long enough about it I would begin to see some.

The last verse of the chapter is Laman and Lemuel having knowledge of the Lord. it is hard to read about these instances because I know they wont' keep their testimony. It is probably hard for the Lord to watch us flip flop back and forth as well. I am starting to realize that it must be so annoying for the Lord to watch me grow. I wonder how my parents could even handle it? I was a pretty cute kid though, so that has to make up for some of it:)

How would you feel if you had to just all of a sudden make a ship?

So 1 Nephi 17...wow. After all the hard work Nephi has done he has to be tired from traveling, keeping his faith, dealing with the opposition his brothers give him and caring for his family. Nephi is so good to name their great blessings at the beginning of the chapter. How many of us would name allthe great afflictions? He mentions afflictions, but he is specific about the great blessings. I think that is a fantastic example of how we need to live our lives. So after this and some years later the Lord tells him to go up a mountain(vs.7) and when he gets there (vs. 8) the Lord says, "Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters." I think my heart would sink a little if I was given this commandment. I think I would feel tired, overwhelmed and maybe a little like...when will this ever end. But I do think we can take this and look in our past and see what "ships" we were asked to construct. There are times we are asked to do something unexpected and overwhelming for us. I know that for me, when I felt I needed to serve a mission, it was sudden but it was clear to me. I think that was a "construct a ship" moment in my life. I was scared and nervous, but I obeyed and did it immediately and was blessed greatly for it. So maybe I wouldn't sink in my heart, actually I think I did a little when I felt I needed to go on a mission, but then it turned to excitement and wonder. I think we take Nephi's experience and keep it somewhere inside of us for when we have more "construct a ship" moments in our lives so that we can have courage and faith the move forward more boldy. The more we practice this the greater the work we can accomplish with the Lord.

Later in the chapter Laman and Lemuel tell Nephi that he is a fool to think he could construct a ship. I wonder if it is just annoying to Nephi to have to deal with them over and over and over again. I personally get so annoyed with constant negativity. It irritates me to hear negative things all the time because I am a believer that if there is a will, there is a way. Learned that one from my mom and I will always hear those words forever ringing in my mind. However, I can see that maybe it was hard for Laman and Lemuel to believe because it probably seemed so far out of left field for Nephi to construct a ship. If they had any faith they would have been able to believe, but I do see where they are coming from. I hope I have never limited myself or another because of unbelief in someone or not enough faith in the Lord. I would really feel terrible. Also, maybe Laman and Lemuel were feeling jealous or their pride really kicked in because their younger brother was so amazing and could accomplish anything because of his faith. Maybe that was a hard pill for them to swallow and so all they could do was be negative and try to bring him down to failure. I think that that is a natural behavior for some people as well. It is good to recognize how these prideful ways can be very devastating and limiting to what can really be accomplished.

by small means the Lord can bring about great things

I love this phrase. So, still in 1 Nephi 16 ( I am slow...but I am trying to think about things longer instead of moving quickly) the Lord tells Lehi to look upon the liahona and he sees things that make him fear and tremble (vs. 26-27). Later in verse 29 it talks of a new writing that gave them understanding concerning the ways of the Lord. It continutes to say that the writing changed from time to time according to their faith and diligence and that by small means the Lord can bring about great things. I think this is symbolic of our lives now. I am sure that was a very obvious observation on my part, but saying it out loud makes it more real in my mind. The way we are led in life changes from time to time according to our faith and diligence. Looking back during specific times in my life I can see that now. I wish I could see it for tomorrow because I might be a little smarter about my decisions...about the small things that I do. The Lord brings about great things by small means. Don't you think we do the same. If we spend a little time each day reading to our children, don't you think it creates a great difference in their lives as they grow...it will most likely develop a love for reading, which in turn gives them more knowledge as they learn through reading. Serving others, even in small ways, not only helps them, but helps us become examples and to become more Christ-like...which is a big thing. It really is the small decisions we make daily that probably make the biggest difference in our lives and in the lives of others. I think the Lord made it that way because the small things are the most difficult to pay attention to and the most difficult to make sure we do. Like scripture study...is it really THAT time consuming...does it take so much out of me to do...no, but it is a challenge on some days to make sure I am being diligent enough to get it done. The same with prayer...it is a gift to us to be able to communicate with our Father in Heaven, so why is it sometimes a challenge to do it and do it from our hearts? Maybe I am giving too much away about myself and maybe I am the only one who has these weird struggles, but I don't think I am alone. These are the small things that if we ignore can devastate our lives, but if we pay attention and are faithful and diligent with them, the Lord will make great things happen in our lives. I know that this is true...when I read it and think of my own experiences this is something that I do know is true.

Whither shall I go to obtain food?

In chapter 16 Nephi breaks his bow and his brothers are angry and they don't bring home dinner. It must have been awful. To know you might starve is scary and I think we have all experienced the grumpiness of being hungry. Babies cry, adults get grumpy. We read about how even Lehi with all the faith he has shown, even he complained to the Lord. This must have been the breaking point I think. Nephi speaks with the "energy of his soul" and they humbled themselves. The important part of this story is Nephi, after making another bow out of wood, goes and asks his father, "Whither shall I go to obtain food?" He saw his father give in to murmuring, but still gave him the respect and confidence. Instead of breaking him down for his error, he builds him up by showing his respect and that he still trusts in him. This is an amazing attribute a person can have. I badly want this attribute because I think my family would greatly benefit from it. I am not quite sure how to get it. In the class I am taking it talked about treating a man as the person he ought to be and he will become that person. I think of my children and wonder how I can do that. I sometimes wonder if I am doing the opposite of that and the thought mortifies me because that is NOT the type of mother or parent I want to be. I want to be encouraging, motivating, trusted and nurturing. How did Nephi know that it was the right thing to do to still ask his father? How do I treat the people in my life in that same respect?

the guilty take the truth to be hard

1 Nephi 16 begins talking about what happens after Nephi is done speaking to his brothers. They tell him the things he says are more than the can bear. Nephi later says in vers 2, "...wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center" Have you ever felt this feeling? I have in 2 different ways. In one way it is a little more innocent, when I have made a mistake or accident and when I realize it I get that awful feeling inside...the pit in my stomache. I don't think it is the same thing, but the feeling I think relates. When I have done something wrong and it wasn't an accident and I am confronted with that truth it IS hard. It really does cut a person to the center and at the point we have to make a choice...to humble ourselves and take responsibility for our actions and repent or to be prideful and deny it or be angry because of our embarrassment. I will admit it, I have done both, but I am glad to say I usually choose the first option.

More from 15

In 1 Nephi 15:11 Nephi says to his brothers, "Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said? If ye will not harden your hearts , and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you." I didn't realize before how often the Lord tells us that he will reveal things to us, or make things known, or show us the mysteries of God, we just need to be faithful, obedient and we need to ask. We just need to make sure we are asking the right things, the things we are supposed to ask. Its another puzzling area to me, because I am not quite sure how one knows what to ask. I think it is an area where we need to be one with the Lord, we need to seek His will and then we will know what to ask and what to do. I sometimes feel like I ask or the same thing on a daily basis, help with how I am with my children, ask for good health, joy and happiness. What should I really be asking though. Probably more specifics, what I should be doing to be a missionary, who I should be helping or serving, how to give peace to another...those are probably more along the lines of what I should be asking, and maybe even more testimony building questions so that my faith grows.

After this Nephi goes on to explain about Lehi's comparison of the House of Israel to the olive tree. This is what Laman and Lemuel were not understanding, but because Nephi has inquired of Lord to know these things he understood what his father had said. In verse 20 Laman and Lemuel were pacified by Nephi's speaking and they humbled themselves. The rest of the chapter is of them asking questions and Nephi giving them answers. I thought it was interesting that it was AFTER they humbled themselves that they began to ask questions instead of arguing. It is a lesson to me that if I am arguing with someone I maybe need to stop, be more humble and begin asking questions about what I am not understanding. Taht would help communication and to keep the spirit of contention out of my life more.

When I read I had more thoughts, I remember thinking more, but since I didn't post while I was reading the thoughts have left me. That should teach me to be better at saving a time to post while I read. I really like chapter 15, I think there is a lot to learn in this chapter. Its one that I feel like I will get something really important everytime I read it.

Back on Track

Ok, I am back and ready to prioritize my thinking out loud blog. So to back up a few days. I studied 1 Nephi 15 for the last few days. There is a lot of information in this chapter. Verse 3 I think had a very important message in it. The beginning of the chapter talks about Nephi returning to the tent of his father after being carried away in the spirit and his brothers were disputing what his father had told them. Verse 3 says, "For he truly spake many great things unto them which were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord; and they being hard in their hearts, therefore they did not look unto the Lord as they ought." The part where he said that the things said were hard to understand save a man should inquire of the Lord really stood out to me. There have been many times in my life when I haven't understood things my parents have cautioned me of and I was hard in my heart thinking they were crazy and I didn't seek confirmation from the Lord...the result of my actions...2 totalled cars within 2 years of my life! How I would go back and inquire of the Lord and not have driven those 2 times! It would have saved me a lot of heartache...BELIEVE ME...alot of heartache. The only wrong thing I did was not listen and trust my parents when they said they didn't think I should drive during those 2 situations. There was a just a feeling for them, like they knew something bad was going to happen. Luckily the Lord spared me from injury, its too bad it took me a few times to learn my lesson. It does lead me to the question, "How many times should I have inquired of the Lord and didn't?" "How would my life be different today if I had?" "When I am not in agreement with my Spouse, instead of arguing what I feel is important at the moment should I be stopping and inquire of the Lord about the things that are being said?" That seems like a no brainer...but who actually has the willpower to do it? I need to try to do that...darn my stubborness! "Over how many different things a day should I be inquiring of the Lord?" "Can I inquire too much?" Not 10 questions Joe, but getting pretty close. Maybe when I finish the Book of Mormon this go around I will start over with a 10 questions a verse...that would be interesting I think. I kind of like the idea. I would learn a lot!

Moving on, Verses 5 and 6 Nephi talks about how he was overcome because of his afflictions from seeing the fall of his people. I wonder sometimes if President Monson has seen our future as a people. Do you think he has seen and feels that sorrow or affliction. I am sure he becomes overcome, but I wonder what he has seen and what a heavy burden he must carry. That would be so hard. I have a raised level of respect and love for him and all the prophets after thinking about this more. Sometimes I think I still seperate our prophets today from the ones in the Book of Mormon, but again I think they experience such similar things.

Verse 8, "...Have ye inquired of the Lord?" I just love this verse because I think we shoudl ask this to ourselves daily. I wish I could remember to do it, but I think it needs to be done. My day would be so much more accomplished if I would.

I have to get dinner ready for my husband now..he will be home in a minute...so more on chapter 15 tomorrow. This is a great one I think!

I didn't skip, I promise.

I didn't skip yesterday and I am not skipping today, I just haven't had a minute to sit down and post, so you will get it all tomorrow. Just wanted everyone to know that I haven't given up! Until tomorrow then...

Lost treasures

Do you know why it is so good to read the scriptures over and over and over again? I have always known logically, but as I read and think I am realizing how much I have forgotten or not noticed previously. For instance, 1 Nephi 14. I don't remember realizing that Nephi was shown a great deal that he was forbidden to write about because another prophet or others have been commanded or will be commanded to write about those things like the end of the world. It was so weird to me while I was reading today that I never realized or remembered this part. Not that I think it is something that has totally enlightened my mind or anything, its just that recognizing how much more we get everytime we read has been really significant to me. So most of the this chapter was speaking of the great and abominable church again. I don't know why, but it just isn't a very striking subject for me right now. I wonder if I was really gung ho at the beginning of starting this blog and my study and worry that some of that enthusiasm is wearing off. I think I won't stay this way, I think maybe it is just the subject matter. Like I said, maybe the importance of the subject is a little beyond my level at the moment. I don't know. I still enjoy studying and reading, I am just not having so many thoughts being triggered. Hmmmm...I wonder if I should have even more supliment reading on the subject matter to learn a little more. Anyone have suggestions? What I do know is when this angel speaking to Nephi is all over, Nephi MUST be so exhausted. Could you imagine seeing so many things? I think I would be panicking trying to commit it all to memory. Also, I wonder if it was hard for him not to write things down that he saw. I think sometimes when we are told a secret and told not to tell it almost makes it even harder NOT to tell. That temptation almost becomes more difficult. Not that the vision was a secret, but the just the concept. Nephi was so righteous I am sure it wasn't too much of a temptation...that was probably just a silly thought just for myself. That's why I am not the one being lifted up to a mountain and being shown all kinds of things!

So I know, not a real insightful post. I really tried to see and feel what I shoudl learn from this chapter, but I am feeling a little blank. Maybe if I study a little more on it something will come.

whoso shall publish peace...how beautiful upon themountains shall they be

I love the end of 1 Nephi 13. The beginning I think was a little hard for me. Overall I understand it, I don't know if I am not as interested or maybe it isn't my time or at my level to dive into what is being said, but not a ton was sticking out to me. verse 37 is a beautiful verse, "And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be." I love scriptures like this because they are a motivation to me. When you read something like this, doesn't it just make you want to do good? I feel like our rewards will be so great if we can just get through what we need to, and get through it gracefully. I struggle with the graceful part, but I do get through things.

I also love verse 40 where he is talking about the Book of Mormon, "And the angel spake unto me, saying: These last records, which thou hast seen among the Gentiles, shall establish the truth of the first , which are of the twelve apostles of the Lamb, and shall make known the plain and precious things which have been taken away from them; and shall make known to all kindreds, tongues, and people, that the Lamb of God is the Son of the Eternal Father, and the Savior of the world; and that all men must come unto him, or they cannot be saved." I love that Nephi is told about these records that will establish the truth. I love that we can read about that and that we have it. Earlier in the chapter (vs.36) it was also said of the records, "And in them shall be written my gospel, saith the Lamb, and my rock and my salvation." I feel great power in these verses because they speak of truth and they show the love of God. He gives us His gospel, His rock, His salvation in these records...for us. We actually have this in our hands, in our homes available to us at any moment. No wonder there is such a stress on studying and pondering the scriptures. Its not just a story, its not even just history, it is the gospel, the way to salvation and everlasting happiness is recorded in this book. No wonder it is wrong to take it lightly. If I could remember this everyday as I drag my feet a little to dedicate time to study, I wouldn't drag my feet, I would run with excitement and anxiousness. I am glad I didn't' put this off like I was thinking of doing. I was thinking of doing another midnight writing, but I decided now would be better and I am glad. This was important for me to think about right now.

Teaching lessons

1 Nephi 13 is still the angel showing things to Nephi. I wonder if he was exhausted. He was shown alot. What I noticed in these chapters is that the angel doesn't just show Nephi visions and tell him what they are, the angel involves him and always asks first what he sees. After asking he continues to teach. I thought that was interesting. Shows us how we should be teaching as well. I could see myself just showing pictures and saying...this is this and that is that. If I were to follow this example I would ask questions about the picture, about what is seen and then teach off of that. For all the great teachers out there that might be normal, but teaching is not a natural gift of mine so this gave me some insight.

This chapter begins talking about the church of the devil rising up. Can anyone shed some light on this subject. Is the great and abominable church really just those who choose to do wickedness? Or is actually a church that gathers together? I know it seems that I would have learned this over and over, but I feel like it always goes past me when I have had this lesson.

Also in verses 10-12 is where Nephi sees Columbus. I know I have learned this, but as I was reading I didn't catch on to that. I was reading the lesson from my class and it had it spoke about Columbus and how he was led by the Spirit. I think it is interesting, the connection made with Columbus in the scriptures. I think I might read up a little more about him. Sometimes it shocks me to see the scriptures have someone like Columbus in them because he is someone we learn about in school, someone that no one can doubt existed. It reminds me again that the scriptures are not a story and the people in them are not characters, they are real people who really lived the lives and performed the Lord's tasks.

The burden of visions

After reading 1 Nephi 12 I decided that visions might be a heavy burden to hold. When I usually think of visions I think of them as great things that would increase my faith and help me see things clearly. But as Nephi continues to be shown the mysteries of God he ends up seeing his seed overpowered by the seed of his brethren because of their pride and the tempations of the devil(vs.19). He must have felt awful to see that after all he is doing, that his seed would fall because of their pride. I think I would feel panic and wonder what I could do to change that. I love happy endings and I think a vision like that would be devastating. What would you do if you received a vision of where your child's future ended up and it wasn't in righteousness? Would you believe it? Would you lose faith or motivation? I don't know what I would do, but I think I would feel so much panic and sorrow. I am glad that I haven't been blessed with gifts of visions. I don't think I would want to know or see any of that ahead of time. I believe in happy endings and that all will be ok as we strive to live in faith and continually seek the Lord's will. Is that cheesy or what...but it's true. I guess it just reaffirms that we cannot control others' decisions and all we can do is teach, love and pray like crazy.

Isn't it interesting that something as simple as pride can make you fall. It is powerful enough to not make only one person fall, but a whole "people". How scary is that? Pride is such a part of our lives. It so easily creeps in and is so hard to shove out. I hate that. Its like trying to build muscles or be toned. You work so hard to get a muscle and soon as you relax a bit it is half way gone. I can work so hard to get rid of my stupid pride and as soon as I am feeling ok and relax a little it quickly creeps back in. I hate pride. Sometimes it feels fun to be a bit prideful...is that weird to say...but I know it is like a virus or a nasty infection. If we don't take care of it it will multiply quickly.

I know I have mentioned before that I don't often think about my posterity. I think of my children, but since my oldest is 4 I don't think much beyond that point. It is important from reading this that we should think of our posterity. Leave something for them to hang on to and build faith upon just in case their parents mess up. It is probably even important to pray for our posterity especially since they will live in tougher times than us. I think today I will think more on my posterity and what I might do for them. I am not sure what would be good, but leaving something of a journal, or lessons on our faith or something would be smart. Aren't we lucky to have records and journals from the pioneers to build our faith on, and the prophets of old? Maybe we need to think about who we might be to the future or who the Lord wants us to be?

More on the tree of life

So chapter 11 of 1 Nephi reviews what the last few chapters already talked about. It's a review because Nephi's prayer is being answered by giving him the knowledge he so desired. I am not going to go back into the tree of life except for just a little. In verses 35 and 36 they are talking about the large and spacious building and the angel says to Nephi, "...Behold the world and the wisdom thereof; yea, behold the house of Israel hath gathered together to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb. And it came to pass that I saw and bear record, that the great and spacious building was the pride of the world; and it fell, and the fall thereof was exceedingly great..." In thinking about the pride of the world and what they are doing it scares me to think of the moments that I feel I am getting swept up in it. I don't think of myself as fighting against the 12 apostles, but when we get swept up in the pride of the world we start to fight the battle on the other end. When I read about the tree of life it seems like the iron rod and the spacious building have some space between them, but in reality it is a little foggy in the middle and easy to not notice when we are drifting.

This is a short review of the rest of chapter 11 because I feel like I would just be repeating myself from previous posts.