How do we nourish the seed?

In Alma 33 the people ask Alma how they can nourish this seed? Alma, as any good teacher would, refers back to scriptures. He quotes Zenos, Zenock and Moses. He begins by talking about prayer, Zenos pretty much thanks God for hearing him in all the many many places he has cried out from, the wilderness, in his field, when he prayed for his enemies, in his house, closet and so on. I think the point was that to nourish our seed we have to turn to the Lord. Turn to him in prayer, always and everywhere. At the end of this chapter he talks about Moses. He says "a type was raised up in the wilderness, that whosoever would look upon it might live." He continues to say many looked and lived, some were so so hardened they just wouldn't look and they perished.

How crazy is that...all you would have to do is look at something and you would be saved, you would live. Or you could decide that it wouldn't work so you just wouldn't look at all. CRAZY! But when we stop and think about it...how do we apply this in our lives? What things are we "not looking" at because we have no faith in it. How could we actually "live" because we decided to take that leap of faith and look. I know there are times when I just dont' believe something would happen or someone would believe me...so I just didn't try. But I am happy for the times that I just shoved my disbelief, fears, pride and hardness of heart in the trash and focused on faith. Those are the great memories where I can really see God's hand in my life. Where I see my own personal miracles. When I lived in Japan as a missionary I had developed a friendship with one of the girls in our English class that we taught. I had decided to ask her if she wanted to learn about the gospel. But I was nervous...for some weird reason I forget that there are people searching for truth and there are people who really want to know what we have to teach. I remember the exact moment when I gulped down my fears of being inadequate to actually teach about gospel and just asked her. Turns out that she had been waiting for someone to ask. She was dying to learn and she did. We are still friends to this day and I am thankful...so thankful that I decided to experiment on the word...to just be faithful that I was doing was God wanted me to do.

Questions to ponder: What are we avoiding today? How can we better our lives by "looking" so that we might live...really live? Will I write down the things that I need to face in order to grow? Am I praying in my home, in my closets, in the field and in the wilderness?

The Experiment

The second half of Alma 32 is where he asks us to "experiment upon my words". he asks us to exercise a particle of faith, even if it is just the desire to believe. He compares the word to a seed. He says if we plant it in our heart and nourish it it will swell and we will know it is good. If we have unbelief and don't nourish it it will not grow. If the seed is not good then it will be cast away.

I often am looking for answers and seeking God's will for me. There are a lot of days when I stop and realize that my thoughts have only been for myself and not for my Heavenly Father. I really want to be better at really seeking the Lord's will everyday because I know I will accomplish more worthwhile tasks. One are that I always feel lost in is parenting. I am always asking and trying to figure out what it is I should be doing with my children. I don't know that I have felt exact guidance, I know generally what I need to be doing...pray, scriptures, family home evening and stuff like that. We always do library time once a week and playgroups with friends, but just one on one I never know what to do. Today I decided that I wanted to just listen and to just do what seems good. I knew that if it wasn't right I would feel something not clicking...that would be the bad seed...it would just be cast away. If I was doing good then I would feel it. There was a moment today while Danielle was at school and Travis and I were eating lunch. I sat there with him and we talked a bit and just were kicking back enjoying our time. We weren't in a rush, nothing was on my mind...it was just us hanging out. For a moment my mind opened up, everything seemed so clear and peaceful. I realized that the seed was good. Just spending that calm time together without any distractions was the right thing at that moment. I know Heavenly Father was telling me that it was good. I get so caught up in feeling like I need to be "doing" with my children when sometimes I need to not be "doing" anything but just being with them and enjoying them.

I think to experiment upon the word isn't just about faith in the gospel, but about our faith in all things. To experiment by placing faith in the areas we feel weak and as we nurture that seed and it swells we will perfect it and can experiment in another area and continually grow to become more like our Savior. I am so glad for the small experiences in my life...they are the ones that fine tune my faith and really anchor it to the foundation my parents raised me on.

Things to ponder today: What can experiment my faith on today? What are my weak areas that need improvement? What other experiences have I had where I can see the good seed swelling or the bad seed being cast away? How can reflecting on these experiences help me in the future?

How is your faith?

I have always felt that my faith has been strong. Any trial I have faced in my life I can honestly say I have never faced alone, I have turned to the Lord for strength and guidance. I am so happy about that. As I sit here and think about faith I realize that I have faith, but my actions are not always proving to me that it is as strong as I have thought it was. With faith we must have action or it will not grow. Alma 32 is about Alma preaching to the poor. He basically tells them that they needed to be poor and have these great afflictions because it was the only way for them to be hunbled so that they could find faith. He says something really important in verse 16, "Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be hunble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in teh word of God, and is baptized without stubborness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe."
I know that I have always believed without being compelled. It has always felt right and I tend to go with my instincts. But from there I have studied and prayed and I know the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know He is the Son of God. Eventhought I know these things I do find that looking back at some of my trials I see they were given to me to become humble, to clear my vision so that I could see God's plan for me. I guess growing in faith is a continual process...duh! I think back to when I decided to go on a mission. My mind was totally closed off to going on a mission, I really didn't feel like that was the plan for me. I was at college and I had gone through a really rough year, it brought me to my knees often, I ran a lot to think about why things were so hard and one day it hit me that God's plan for me was that I needed to go and serve a mission for the church. It took an entire year to get me humble to see this plan and have the humility to go do it without question...and it was life changing and the one of the greatest blessings of my life. I am so glad my was strong enough to actually listen and that my family supported me so that I could serve the Lord in that capacity.

Here are some good questions to ask yourself for reflection:
What experiences have you had to build your faith? What were the real eye openers? How does this help you now to recognize when they Lord is trying to tell you something. Are you listening to Him now...really listening? Are you truly humble and ready to do His will?

What should we be?

Alma is preaching in Gideon...this teacing stood out to me the most. Alma 7:23-24..."And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive adn gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works."

How are you doing in being these things? I will spend my lifetime working on having these qualities...but I know that they are god-like qualities and as I work to make them apart of me I am happier and more fulfilled in my life. My challenge from this: to return "...thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive..." Make a list of all the things you have received this week...both spiritual and temporal...I know my will be longer than I think it will. I have so much to be thankful for.

My soul was racked with eternal torment

Has you soul ever been racked with eternal torment? I can't say that mine has in the way that Alma the younger's has, or at least not for the same reasons. Just a quick recap in the previous chapter, Alma the younger is introduced and is the son of Alma. Alma the younger is rebellious, along with the sons of Mosiah. In some ways knowing this about the boys leaves me with feelings of hope. First, Alma and Mosiah were both men of God, they were diligently doing the Lord's work and yet their sons sinned greatly, rebelled and worked just as hard to flatter others away from the gospel and teachings of Christ. Why does this give me hope, first, very selfishly, it helps me to remember that I have to let my children choose and they may not choose the right and it won't be because I was a terrible mother. Now, I will probably always blame myself for any wrong they might do, but there might be days that I will remember that I have worked my hardest to teach them and lead them to a path of righteousness and ultimately to eternal happiness. The other hope I have from this story is that Alma prayed mightily for his son, that he would know the gospel, that he would know of his Savior and the love of God. Because of Alma's righteousness and faith, Alma the younger was visited by an Angel and was so shocked that he fell into a state of dumbness. Alma fasted for 2 days, he really really loved his son. My favorite part is the where Alma the younger snaps out of it and receives strength to stand and here is what he says: Mosiah 27:24-31- For, said he, I have repented of my sins, and have been redeemed of the Lord; behold I am born of the Spirit. And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. I say unto you, unless this be the case, they must be cast off; and this I know, because I was like to be cast off. Nevertheless, after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God. My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched , and my soul pained no more. I rejected my Redeemer, and denied that which had been spoken of by our fathers; but now that they may forsee that he will come, and that he remembereth every creature of his creating, he will make himself manifest unto all. Yea, every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess before him. Yea, even at the last day, when all men shall stand to be judged of him then shall they confess that he is God; then shall they confess, who live without God in the world, that the judgment of of an everlasting punishment is just upon them; and they shall quake, and tremble and shrink beneath the glance of his all-searching eye.

After this experience Alma the younger goes to teach the word of God and is met with persecution and tribulation, but as we will continue to read, he is diligent...truly born of God.

The words of the scriptures are so powerful to me when I read them. They use such words and emotion, they have so much conviction in the tone of what they write that I can't help but feel what they are saying and connecting to them. I have not murdered or ever tried to lead anyone from the gospel so I can't feel like I would understand his type of torment that he must have felt, but I am clearly no where near perfect and when I really feel the weight of my imperfections on my shoulders I feel that torment. I feel gross and sad and weak. But I am glad I turn to my Father above to repent and not hide or runaway from him. The sweet feeling of forgiveness and love and mercy that I feel during those moments really build me up and carry me a long way. There is a song they children have learned in primary called, "I know that my Savior Loves Me" I think:) There is a line that says, "wrapped in the arms of my Savior's love, I feel His gentle touch" It is one of my favorite parts of the song because I relate. I have felt that love, I have felt his gentle touch...I believe this is what Alma the Younger is feeling in these verses. You can feel his rejoicing in being redeemed from his terrible and gross sins.

What hope and joy the scriptures give me when I read them and really think about them and ponder them and just feel what they are saying to me at that particular moment. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have been blessed to have of the gospel. I am so thankful that I know my Savior, that I know my Heavenly Father, that they speak to me through the still small voice of the Holy Ghost. I am so glad my parents taught me in righteousness and for their example, my sisters' examples and my friends' examples. I am lucky to be married to a man of God who desires only to do good and constantly stresses over being better and what God wants him to be and me to be and our family to be. I love my Savior, I know He died for me and atoned for my sins and that I also will be redeemed and I will return to my Heavenly Father and Savior to live eternally with my family, as long as we do all that we can to follow His commandments. I know that we can all have this peace and joy and eternal happiness.

Mosiah 25

This is a great chapter. This is where the people of Zarahemla join the Nephites and King Mosiah reads to them the account of Zeniff and Alma. After he reads to them they were fill with exceedingly great joy (verse 8)for those who were delivered from bondage, sorrw for those who were slain and they gave thanks to God for delivering Alma and his brethren. I like this part of the story because the people care, they cared greatly for these others that they felt emotions of joy and of sorrow. Those are true Christ-like qualities. I would love to train myself to be more aware of others and what their situations are and what they are doing so that I can feel with them...have empathy and compassion, joy and sorrow. In verse 11 they it talks of how they felt pain and anguish for the welfare of the souls of the Lamanites. I am not sure that I am aware enough to think on those that are choosing the wrong path, maybe it is because I dont' know too many people that have chosen another direction, one that will bring them sorrow, but I definately think that I need to care more and be more aware.

After all this reading, Limhi and his people are desirous to be baptized and so Alma baptizes them. There are so many people that they have to organize churches and teachers over those churches. But it is made clear that the only things preached were from the words of Alma, that came from God. So it was ONE church amoung all the churches. Sound familiar? I know it is God's way, how could he organize his church any other way? I was thinking back to my days as a full time missionary, I was thinking about Alma and him preaching to the people of Limhi and I was thinking of other prophets like Noah and how he was commanded to preach to the people repentance, even though he knew it was in vain. I am probably thinking of these things because I work in the Primary and this months song is "Follow the Prophet" and we have been focused on prophets. My biggest thought was about how the Lord commanded them to preach repentance and faith on the Lord. That was my calling as well as a missionary and my duty now as a diciple of Christ. But I wonder if faith is actually strong enough that if commanded, I would have the faith to stand up in front of even just one or hundreds and preach the word of the Lord as the prophets did. They were so bold, they faced death, they were mocked and threatened. I know as a missionary I could preach the word of God, I had a special tag, a special calling, that was my job...it was different. Now, I think of myself and I can hardly speak up sometimes to as someone to reach something in a grocery shelf that is too high for me to reach. So would I be bold enough if the Lord required me to do so? I don't know. If I knew ahead of time that I needed to speak with someone and boldly bear testimony of what I know is true, but that person was strongly against everything I believed, would I be able to boldy speak to them without fear or shyness? The honest answer: I don't know. I haven't been in that situation. I have born testimony to others investigating the gospel, but they had an interest so that wasn't hard. It makes me wonder and reflect on myself more. I hate that I have to actually wonder, I would love for my answer to be a capital YES and know without doubt that i am bold enough, but I am not 100% sure. SOOOOO....I will be working on knowing that I am bold enough. I know my testimony for myself and would never shrink from it, I just don't know about my boldness in sharing with others. Isn't that weird? I served a mission for 18 months and it wasn't hard for me to share the gospel boldy, but now living my normal life I have to question myself. Interesting.

Anywyas, the last verse in chapter 25 says, "And they were called the people of God. And the Lord did pour out his Spirit upon them, and they were blessed, and prospered in the land." Let us all remember that as we live as people of God, follow His commandments he will always send us the Spirit, we will always be blessed and we will always prosper. It is only our own pride and selfishness or idleness that ever ruins that wonderful life!

More on Limhi and his people

So to pick up where I left off last time, I wanted to talk about verse 15 of Mosiah 21. The Lord was slow to hear their cries, but he did hear them, he softened the hearts of the Lamanites, but didn't see fit to deliver them out of bondage. I thought that was interesting. Sometimes when we struggle in our lives and we are pouring our hearts and souls to the Lord, he doesn't always deliver us from our problems. Sometimes it is because of our pride and sin, because we were slow to obey His commandments...as is the case here. Sometimes it is because He has a plan for us and it will happen with his timing. I always try to remember that if I can remain patient the Lord may have something even better in store for me, if I will just be patient and obedient. Sometimes He doesn't deliver us because he knows we need more growth, it is for our own good, just painful. I remember waiting an entire year for my husband to finally get to start his job. He knew he had a job in line, but waiting for them to tell him where and when his training will begin was torture! He watched fellow classmates all begin within months after graduation college and we sat, no phone calls, no emails, no indication as to what is going on and when he will get to begin. It was agonizing. I know he prayed mightily, I know i did as well, but the Lord didn't see it fit to deliver us from this trial for almost a year. I look back now and I am grateful for that trial and that time. It really helped me to be grounded with gratitude. I don't care so much about our ugly couches, or that I don't have this thing or that we don't go on fabulous vacations, or that we don't have this or that. I am seriously just THRILLED that my husband has a job, gets a paycheck, we have shelter, we have food and we have our family and the gospel. I think I really needed the trials we faced to strip off all the things that seemed somewhat important, to strip off any dumb complaints I may have had about dumb things and bring me to real happiness again. Happiness that is in the gospel, in my family and not in silly things like, clothes, shoes, houses, furnishings. Don't get me wrong, I do still like those things, but I don't care about them. I feel happier inside for what I have.

So Moshiah 23 is just a great story. This is where Limhi and his people get the Lamanite guards drunk and escape from their bondage. I should mention that by the end of chapter 22 Limhi and his people were desirous to be baptized, they had gained a testimony...so the next chapter the Lord delivers them out of bondage. Probably also important to mention and they had met up with Ammon and his brethren. So Gideon comes up with this fabulous plan to have all the people get ready to escape at night and Gideon would deliver the last tribute of wine. The guards totally fall for it and get drunk and Limhi and his people escaped into the wilderness and to Zarahemla joining Mosiah and his people. By the time guards noticed they went after them and got lost in the wilderness. It was a short chapter, but it is a fun story. Moral of the story, don't get drunk. I think it goes deeper than that, but I do think it helps reinforce why the Lord has given us the Word of Wisdom. I think we can look at this and say, don't be idle. The Lamanite guards probably had too much pride, thinking that they are good fighters and no one could get past them. Because of their pride they probably just rested on that, their minds were not alert to their duties, they allowed themselves to get drunk, and they weren't watchful and because of that they made a big error. In our own lives if we allow ourselves to become idle with our minds and our thoughts, and our acitivites we will also put ourselves in a position to allow Satan into our lives, and that is a big error. If we are feeling comfortable with our testimony so we become idle in our scripture study, our prayer, our journal writing Satan will slip through and take advantage of the power we have given him. If we are not watchful over our families and our activites, making sure we have family home eveing, family prayer, family fun then we will also allow the opportunity for our children or even us as parents escape from the goodness of the gospel, from the Spirit and from the joy and love that is to be built in our homes. That is the message I get from this story. We need to keep our minds sober and not drunken with things of the world or idleness.

Limhi and his people

So I know I have posted like once every 2 months...so consistent am I! Anyways, I have been reading the story of Limhi, so that is where I am. Every once in awhile I may try to go back if i am reminded of something I read earlier, but I just need to do this really try to be consistent every week in writing. Writing in here forces me to be thoughtful about what I am reading and makes me reflect on the words, when I don't I just read quickly and close the book and go off in my daily routine without much reflection or thought. It's terrible. So Mosiah 21 is where I read today. Limhis people were previously attacked by the Lamanites because the Lamanites thought that they were the ones who stole their daughters. At the end of the chapter the Lamanites had been pacified and returned to their land in peace. In chapter 21 it starts off by saying that after some time the Lamanited were getting angry again towards the Nephites. They couldn't kill them or go to war because their is an oath curretnly in place, so instead they pretty much abuse them and put heavy burdens upon their backs and work them hard. I was thinking about this because sometimes we are given rules or we are working to obey the commandments, but it is hard sometimes. So we technically don't "break" the commandments but we do little things that we think keep us within the boundaries, but we still know are wrong. Is that a bit of a stretch. I am thinking of all different things, there are rules of sexual morality, there are the clear rules of what not to do, but there are many who I think might do the things that they can feel are wrong, but technically are not the same so it seems ok or justified. There is President Clinton who didn't inhale, we need to show love and charity to others so we might technically serve them with food or serice, but we may not give true friendship or have some unkind things to say behind their backs. There are so many things in our lives we can compare this to and I think it is important to do some self reflection on this.

In verse 4 it says, "Yea, all this was done that the word of the Lord might be fulfilled." This is referring to when Abinadi had prophesied to the people what would happen...Moshiah 12:2:"...and the Lord said unto me: Strethc forth thy hand and prophesy, saying : Thus saith the Lord, it shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage, and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by mne, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh." So the Lord continues to show us in the scriptures how the prophesies will come true. He shows us these things to increase our faith, although he doesn't show us the things in our own lives so quickly. So smart, it leaves us the opportunity to build our faith in our personal lives, but gives us scripture to give us the faith and hope and to show us that it does happen. So what has our prophet been prophesying? What things are we warned of that we need to take seriously. Getting out of debt, living within our means, stay away from pornography, get your food storage and emergency preparedness together, read the scriptures daily, have Family Home evening and family prayer...these are the things I think of when I think of what I learn from General Conference. There is clearly more, but sometimes I dismiss this as just things we should do to enrich our daily lives, but I do think there is more to it. These are things we are being told to do just like the Nephites were told to repent and live righteously. That's all the time I have for today, but there is more i thought about for the latter part of the chapter that had to do with the Nephites finally becoming humble and crying to the Lord and the Lord hearing them, but being slow in their deliverance because of their sins and pride. Tough lesson to learn...but I will try and touch on that later.

Not quite moving on yet...

I know I said I was going to start where I am currently, but I keep remembering certain areas that really stood out to me and I felt excited to post about, but of course didn't, so as I remember them I just want to point them out. As we can see I am still struggling with routine, but I am getting back on board I think.

Ok, So 2 Nephi chapter 9 is another beautiful and powerful chapter full of exclamation points in all the right places. When I was in high school I remember my Seminary teacher telling us that if we run into exclamation points to go back and pay close attention to them. So I have always done that. There are alot in this chapter and the words really are powerful. I type out the whole chapter, but just a few of the verses and I really really loved. It was actually a little hard to choose because the whole chapter is amazing, but these stood out the most to me.

Verse 40 through 42 and 44: "O, my beloved brethren, give ear to my words. Remember the greatness of the Holy One of Israel. Do not say that I have spoken hard things against you; for if ye do, ye will revile against the truth; for I have spoken the words of your Maker. I know that the words of truth are hard against all uncleanness; but the righteous fear not, for they love the truth and are not shaken. O then, my beloved brethren, come unto the Lord, the Holy One. Remember that his paths are righteous. Behold, the way for man is narrow, but it lieth in a straight course before him, and the keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and he employeth no servant there; and there is none other way save it be by the gate; for he cannot be deceived, for the Lord God is the name. And whoso knocketh, to him will will he open; and the wise, and the learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up because of their learning, and their wisdom, and their riches--yea,they are they whom he despiseth; and save they shall cast these things away, and consider themselves fools before God, and come down in the depths of humility, he will not open unto them." "O, my beloved brethren, remember my words. Behold, I take off my garments, and I shake them before you; I pray the God of my salvation that he view me with his all-searching eye; wherefore, ye shall know at the last day, when all men shall be judged of their works, that the God of Israel did witness that I shook your iniquities from my soul, and that I stand with brightness before him, and am rid of your blood."

I love the words at the beginning where Jacob warns to now think that his words are hard. It is a great reminder that we need to listen to all the words of our Prophet. Sometimes things seem so trivial and small and annoying and even a little hard to listen, but they are important, important to our growth, not just maintaining where we are but improving upon ourselves. I am sure we have heard before that we cannot maintain our faith or stay the same, if we are not going upwards, then we are going downwards. It has always been a little difficult for me to follow some of the smaller things, well not smaller, but what seems smaller to me, you know...being idle, or spending my time on the more selfish side in things that aren't really going to satisfy me or choosing a nap over something that enrich my life or others. I frequently cave into those things that kind of seem like smaller issues to me, but they really are big things. I know that I would do a greater work in my life if I would discipline myself to do more, but as it is I often choose a more relaxed path. But I will say that sometimes something will light a fire under me and I can feel when I choose the best things to do for a day.

In the middle Jacob speaks and tells us to come unto the Lord and that he has made our path and that through Him is the only way to pass through the gate. It is a simple truth, but such a glorious one. I feel like I hear it all the time, but the moments when it really connects with me I just want to sit and feel the greatness of this truth. All we have to do is go to the Lord, submit ourselves to the will of God and live by His commandments. We will have eternal glory and happiness.

I love the last verse when Jacob says he shakes his garments, that he will not be responsible for anyone's sins because he spoken God's words to them and to us. He was bold and straightforward and I think he could say this because he could feel that He had done God's will. I love the power in that.

So my question is one, what one thing can we do this year that has been hard for us to listen to, but needs to be done? And 2, how can we make sure we are living and teaching God's word the way He wants us to so that we can stand with brightness before him at the time of judgement?

If you haven't done it in awhile, read this chapter, it is amazing.

Moving on

So I am going to just start off where i am currently, but before I do I want to go back to a chapter that I just really love. So I guess I am not starting off where I am currently...but whatever, that will happen next.

I love chapter 4 in 2nd Nephi. It is just beautiful. When I was in the MTC on getting ready to leave for Japan, one of my companions introduced to me this chapter with great excitement. We decided it was worth memorizing. So for a week we spent all our meal times and right before we went to bed memorizing and reciting a good part of this chapter. It is just beautiful and full of goodness. In this chapter Lehi dies and Nephi just pours his soul out to the Lord. It begins in verse 15 (prepare yourself, I am going to be typing straight scripture so you can just read it without getting out your scriptures right now)

"And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children. Behold my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard. Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime. And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me. And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them. O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions. Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt though make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of they righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict to the plain road! O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of they righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way--but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy. O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm. Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen"

I realize I made a million typos and I will try to catch as many as I can, so please excuse my errors. But WOW, is that not the most amazing pouring out of the soul? I cannot read it without feeling the Spirit and feeling Nephi's love for the Lord and great desire for trusting the Lord and for righteousness. It is inspiring and really grounds me. It really helps me to remember where my thoughts and desires should be. His words are beautiful and full of wonderful emotion. When I read something like this it confirms my testimony and faith in God and that these men were truly prophets. I don't think you can fake words or emotions like this. It re-confirms to me the trueness of the gospel and of The Book of Mormon and of God's love for us. I am so thankful that God loves us so much to have had these prophets of old record what was needed for us to help us build and grow in our faith.

Here's to New Year's Resolutions!

So I clearly dropped the ball on my blogging. I think I started working on Halloween costumes and the holidays just consumed me from there. Now they are over and I am trying to get myself grounded again. Despite my lack of blogging I have actually still been studying, not as well and as concentrated as I was while I was blogging, but at least I have been. So my question is this, do I resume my blogging from where I left off, or do I skip to where I am reading now? I am not sure what is the best course of action, any suggestions?