My soul was racked with eternal torment

Has you soul ever been racked with eternal torment? I can't say that mine has in the way that Alma the younger's has, or at least not for the same reasons. Just a quick recap in the previous chapter, Alma the younger is introduced and is the son of Alma. Alma the younger is rebellious, along with the sons of Mosiah. In some ways knowing this about the boys leaves me with feelings of hope. First, Alma and Mosiah were both men of God, they were diligently doing the Lord's work and yet their sons sinned greatly, rebelled and worked just as hard to flatter others away from the gospel and teachings of Christ. Why does this give me hope, first, very selfishly, it helps me to remember that I have to let my children choose and they may not choose the right and it won't be because I was a terrible mother. Now, I will probably always blame myself for any wrong they might do, but there might be days that I will remember that I have worked my hardest to teach them and lead them to a path of righteousness and ultimately to eternal happiness. The other hope I have from this story is that Alma prayed mightily for his son, that he would know the gospel, that he would know of his Savior and the love of God. Because of Alma's righteousness and faith, Alma the younger was visited by an Angel and was so shocked that he fell into a state of dumbness. Alma fasted for 2 days, he really really loved his son. My favorite part is the where Alma the younger snaps out of it and receives strength to stand and here is what he says: Mosiah 27:24-31- For, said he, I have repented of my sins, and have been redeemed of the Lord; behold I am born of the Spirit. And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. I say unto you, unless this be the case, they must be cast off; and this I know, because I was like to be cast off. Nevertheless, after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God. My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched , and my soul pained no more. I rejected my Redeemer, and denied that which had been spoken of by our fathers; but now that they may forsee that he will come, and that he remembereth every creature of his creating, he will make himself manifest unto all. Yea, every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess before him. Yea, even at the last day, when all men shall stand to be judged of him then shall they confess that he is God; then shall they confess, who live without God in the world, that the judgment of of an everlasting punishment is just upon them; and they shall quake, and tremble and shrink beneath the glance of his all-searching eye.

After this experience Alma the younger goes to teach the word of God and is met with persecution and tribulation, but as we will continue to read, he is diligent...truly born of God.

The words of the scriptures are so powerful to me when I read them. They use such words and emotion, they have so much conviction in the tone of what they write that I can't help but feel what they are saying and connecting to them. I have not murdered or ever tried to lead anyone from the gospel so I can't feel like I would understand his type of torment that he must have felt, but I am clearly no where near perfect and when I really feel the weight of my imperfections on my shoulders I feel that torment. I feel gross and sad and weak. But I am glad I turn to my Father above to repent and not hide or runaway from him. The sweet feeling of forgiveness and love and mercy that I feel during those moments really build me up and carry me a long way. There is a song they children have learned in primary called, "I know that my Savior Loves Me" I think:) There is a line that says, "wrapped in the arms of my Savior's love, I feel His gentle touch" It is one of my favorite parts of the song because I relate. I have felt that love, I have felt his gentle touch...I believe this is what Alma the Younger is feeling in these verses. You can feel his rejoicing in being redeemed from his terrible and gross sins.

What hope and joy the scriptures give me when I read them and really think about them and ponder them and just feel what they are saying to me at that particular moment. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have been blessed to have of the gospel. I am so thankful that I know my Savior, that I know my Heavenly Father, that they speak to me through the still small voice of the Holy Ghost. I am so glad my parents taught me in righteousness and for their example, my sisters' examples and my friends' examples. I am lucky to be married to a man of God who desires only to do good and constantly stresses over being better and what God wants him to be and me to be and our family to be. I love my Savior, I know He died for me and atoned for my sins and that I also will be redeemed and I will return to my Heavenly Father and Savior to live eternally with my family, as long as we do all that we can to follow His commandments. I know that we can all have this peace and joy and eternal happiness.