Moving on

So I am going to just start off where i am currently, but before I do I want to go back to a chapter that I just really love. So I guess I am not starting off where I am currently...but whatever, that will happen next.

I love chapter 4 in 2nd Nephi. It is just beautiful. When I was in the MTC on getting ready to leave for Japan, one of my companions introduced to me this chapter with great excitement. We decided it was worth memorizing. So for a week we spent all our meal times and right before we went to bed memorizing and reciting a good part of this chapter. It is just beautiful and full of goodness. In this chapter Lehi dies and Nephi just pours his soul out to the Lord. It begins in verse 15 (prepare yourself, I am going to be typing straight scripture so you can just read it without getting out your scriptures right now)

"And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children. Behold my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard. Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime. And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me. And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them. O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions. Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt though make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of they righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict to the plain road! O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of they righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way--but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy. O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm. Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen"

I realize I made a million typos and I will try to catch as many as I can, so please excuse my errors. But WOW, is that not the most amazing pouring out of the soul? I cannot read it without feeling the Spirit and feeling Nephi's love for the Lord and great desire for trusting the Lord and for righteousness. It is inspiring and really grounds me. It really helps me to remember where my thoughts and desires should be. His words are beautiful and full of wonderful emotion. When I read something like this it confirms my testimony and faith in God and that these men were truly prophets. I don't think you can fake words or emotions like this. It re-confirms to me the trueness of the gospel and of The Book of Mormon and of God's love for us. I am so thankful that God loves us so much to have had these prophets of old record what was needed for us to help us build and grow in our faith.