How many times can I start this up again?

So I am SHOCKED that it has been 2 years.  I just can't seem to get a habit going here!  But on the positive side I think I am the perfect example of imperfection, he he he.  but since I am pretty sure I am the only one who logs onto this sad little blog I am going to change things up.  It really is just going to be my little journal of thoughts and scripture study.   I am starting my study over again on The Book of Mormon and this time my study guide is a book called, "Your Study of The Book of Mormon Made Easier".  So far So good.  I just started reading it this week and I love it!

Today it Sunday, it is like 10:30 at night and my house is SILENT!  All the little ones are asleep as well as the big one and I am left to think about the things I want to think about.  There are so many things ranging from what I learned at Church to what I need to do tomorrow to what things I want to go shopping for:)  But there were a few things that really jumped out at me at Church today.  One thing that was said was, "Our gratitude to the Lord is a measure of our love for Him".  That really stung as I sat and tried to think of the things I have been giving thanks for lately.  Sometimes when I pray I become monotonous, not because I don't really think the things I am saying, I am just not digging deeper to express myself more fully.  That takes energy...and I don't always have the willpower to dig any up by the time I am on my knees and praying, which seems like a problem with my priorities, but I am only human.  When I say that sentence "stung" me, it really did because I know how much I really do love my Father in Heaven and my Savior, but if the gratitude I have shown is what measures my love I have not done a  good enough job !  There really is so much I am grateful for....SO MUCH.  I know that I have been lucky all my life and that I have been given so much.  As I have been thinking about this, I was thinking about my as a parent and my children.  I get so annoyed when I they seem ungrateful for something and I sometimes will lecture them about it and am less likely to want to give them something anytime soon.  But is that how my Heavenly Father is...sometimes I think He is because he needs to remind me to be humble and to recognize the gifts I have been given and other times I think He shows patience with me.  As I related this to myself being a parent I realized that I am probably missing out on a lot of different blessings because I have not been so grateful.  I miss out on a deeper level relationship with my Father, I miss out on growth because the lack of responsibility I show.  I am glad for this insight today because it was a great reminder to me to be grateful and express it, to those who need to hear it!  Because I think I forget to show it, that is probably why I have to keep re-teaching it to my children...they could use a better example! 

The other thing we talked about today was how only the merciful will receive mercy.   It was based on the talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf found in the May Ensign. My thought that I walked away with is that for the most part is that usually people don't have cruel intentions.  If they have done anything to offend us, they certainly probably weren't trying to, especially those closest to us.  In his talk he said, "When we feel hurt, angry, or envious, it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own feelings of resentment."  I just think it hit the  nail on the head with that sentence.  That is exactly what happens when we are feeling bad about something.  Even if we aren't hurt I think we do this just because maybe we feel jealous or we don't want to feel like certain people are "pulling ahead" of us so we assign dark motives to very normal things that they do.  It is certainly easy to take something innocent and twist and turn it to something evil...that is a gift from Satan.  If we can remember that no one really wants to be evil and if we can have the strength and willpower to allow us to NOT justify the negative feelings then we will have the power to forgive and show mercy, just as the Lord gives it to us so freely. 

Glad I wrote this out today.  I was worried I would forget the great things I learned.  I feel like it will stick in my heart and mind a little longer now!