The Tree of Life

Oh the Tree of Life. I have always a little bit dreaded this chapter (1 Ne. 8) because it is a little on the long side, it screams to me that I should be studying it slowly so I can really ponder the message and dig deep. Well, the task has always seemed to daunting and I guess for some weird reason I always feared trying. I sometimes have a weird fear of failure about things that I really shouldn't fear...like digging deep into the scriptures. I hate disappointing myself when I feel like I give up, so sometimes I guess I just don't even begin. I had that same fear of sewing...but I am getting over it. SO, I really hope for participation from others to help me dig deep into the meaning of chapter 8. I understand the on obvious meanings that we learn about everytime the lesson is taught at church, but I would love to know what others have pondered or thought about in their own study.

So I plan on spending a few days on this chapter. One scripture that came to me is verse 15, "And it came to pass that I beckoned unto them; and I also did say unto them with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable about all other fruit." This verse is Lehi speaking about his family. He wanted them to come and partake of the fruit. The word that really stuck out to me is "loud". He used a loud voice when he called out to them. I think it is so important that we use our "loud" voices in our actions and examples when it comes to our family. I was trying to think of what things I may have done today to use a "loud" voice in teaching my family or beckoning to them to come partake of the fruit. I have to question myself, "Am I very loud when it comes to this?" I know I am loud when I am frustrated, but that is probably when I should be softer because I notice I am more effective the more silent frustrated I am. I should be loud in my beckoning them to come to Christ and quieter in my anger and frustration. I always do things so opposite...its annoying!

So I had this thought today, that doesn't necissarlily apply to the scripture I am reading right now, but I just had to say it out loud. When you are reading the scriptures do you usually read about Nephi and think of how good he his and kind of think of yourself as following in his way? That probably sounds prideful, but all my life I have always read the scriptures and imagined me as them, like I was a modern day version of those great prophets. But this time around as I am looking deeper, I still feel like I am more like them, but I am beginning to see some similarities between me and Laman and Lemuel. Because I have been taught from the Book of Mormon my whole life I have always just looked at them as the bad guys, but I wonder if they weren't so awful, they just fell to temptation. I mean, they did try to kill Nephi and stuff so I guess they probably were pretty awful, but I sometiems feel like I understand some of their frustrations or doubts at times. I am not saying I woudl ever kill or do the bad things they did, but I won't lie, I didn't ALWAYS obey my parents or I didn't always seek the Lord's will on a daily a basis. I often just go through my day not really seeking anything but a little moment of peace and quiet! Anyways, weird thought, but I guess the prophets in the Book of Mormon are becoming more real to me this time around and I feel like I can see them in a more human way than I have previously. Well, look for some more thoughts on chapter 8 tomorrow.